A Murder Gone Terribly Wrong

If there were an all night hardware store, I would be there. Last night I woke up at 4 am thinking there was a cat or a dog or a raccoon in my attic running the width of my house. I realized quickly, it is a R. A. T. I spelled it out, so as not to say the word aloud, even in my head. Tonight, it or they are doing some kind of Cirque thing that involves jumping, leaping and running. Several years ago, I was in my first apartment by myself. This was shortly after Peace Corps. I heard a R.A.T in the kitchen late at night. It made so much noise, I had fears that I was being invaded by a fleet of them. My landlord, Winton, hired a very nice lesbian exterminator. Imagine. She came around and set traps and the like. I was getting the house ready to pick up my college friend Janine. We were to have breakfast with another friend, Anne. The table in the kitchen was set for the early morning gathering. On the eve of the fancy breaky, as I was trying to sleep, I heard a very loud "Snap" and the piercing squealing scream of rodent. The following high pitched, but muffled scream was mine. I got up, looked in the kitchen, and without even turning on the light, I could see the contrasting ooze of R.A.T blood on the white floor and splatter of the same on the stove. (now there's a word: Splatter.) I called the nice exterminator's place of employment. They said they would come and remove the offending beast, but they did not clean up after them. I was not happy. I left a bucket of cleaning supplies out never-the-less. To my delight, I came back from the airport with my friends and kitchen was clean, the table legs cleared of splatter, no sign of the aforementioned violence. The exterminator young woman came by later. I asked if it had been she who had come around and disposed of the offending rodent and kindly cleaned up. It was. She had never seen anything like it. Apparently they usually just die in these traps, not flop about and spray blood. She said, "It was like there was a murder that had gone terribly wrong."